Cake Boss!

This has been a couple of disappointing days, filled with some tears and some personal battles with inner demons. It was agreed several weeks ago that my family would be getting to see the new Harry Potter movie two days in advance. Our friend, Alison, works at the local movie theatre, and she gets three extra tickets to see any movie a day in advance of the first showing. In addition, her daughter works there too, so our whole family was invited to see the movie.

Lo and behold, a few days ago, I see a post on her Facebook that her friends from high school were going to see the movie with her. My heart dropped. I was so upset and most people would be mad at me if they knew how upset I was. I felt so horrible because no one ever acknowledges my anger or my sadness and takes it seriously.

I was mostly mad because I really wanted to go see the movie before everyone else out of spite because my “friends,” Poop and Poopie, have had an exclusive Harry Potter party for the last several years that I was never included in, no matter how hard I tried. They’ve cancelled on me for each other and they’ve excluded me, and many others, from their midnight showing groups.

Bottom line, they stink. And I really wanted to have this over them, be able to see it before them and not invite them. Actually I did invite Poop to go see the show with me but she double booked over me and chose them over me. Turns out she wouldn’t have been able to go with me. So that plan was ruined.

And the other reason I was so upset is that Alison double booked over me. Not just me, my family. No one else seems to be upset about this. I feel betrayed and unconsidered by Alison, like she completely forgot about me. This happens to me all the time and it takes a toll on my emotions. It’s something I’ve struggled with for years—people don’t take things as seriously as I do. When I make plans, I make a big deal out of it and every time (yes, it happens a lot) I get let down, my heart breaks just a little more and my self-esteem falls just a little more.

It’s horrible if you’re me, being someone who cares so much about even the littlest things. I don’t know what to do about it… No one has ever assured me that I’m sane and it’s okay to feel that way. Lots of people beat me up about my intensity and leave me bruised and scarred with no advice, no continuous help, no support. Just leave me there to wither away… so dramatic! I could write some poetry! I’m really not that dramatic, I swear.

And now I’m in a situation that I put myself in. Again, I am third wheeling with Reese and Kim. It’s gross. That’s all I have to say. I warned Kim not to let this happen, and she lets it happen. No more, my friend. I no longer am going to let both of you over at my house at the same time.

I’m really sad again. It’s a good thing Cake Boss is here to cheer me up!